Wednesday, April 05, 2006

REVIEW TIME!! "Ecco The Dolphin"

Theres a hot new game out for the SEGA
Genesis called Ecco the Dolphin. You get to be a greased up dolphin and it's quite delighful. His skin is so soft and smooth it's amazing! I'd like to ride Ecco. They call him Ecco because dolphins can shoot sonar waves which destroy enemies such as sharks, who are twisted child molesters. Ecco also has other dolphin friends whom you can hang out with and nuzzle and engage them in intellegent conversation. The dialouge usually unfolds as thus:

Ecco: Greetings and salutations comrade. How fares the depths?

Dolphin: Whoa, surfs up Ecco! Can you help me with something?

Ecco: Anything for you my dorsal companion.

Dolphin: Man, I really need to score some ecstacy for this party.
You ever rub up against turtles on e Ecco? Oh my God it's fantastic the way...

Ecco: Shut up you goddamn e-tard. I told you I don't run
that shit no more. Jesus Christ.

Dolphin: Sorry man. I guess I'll just catch you later then.

Ecco: May the tide favor you my friend.

Yeah, it's pretty realistic. I give this game 14 out of 17 banana split sundays. With titles like this Sega will continue to dominate the hardware side of gaming until the end of the universe.